RKFDnews.com Archive — Real, Original, Excellent Stories For Mediocre People
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Blonde Rockford Mom Attacks Shoppers With Lawnmower
ROCKFORD, OF ILLINOIS, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, OF NORTH AMERICA, OF EARTH, OF EVERYTHING ELSE THAT’S LAUGHING AT US – A local woman (blonde, single mom, nice body, etc.) started a lawnmower and chased people away from sales
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Dreams Run Away, We Know Why
Rockford, IL– Any dream can run away at any time if the circumstances are right. Believe me, if they’re under enough stress, any dream can justify running away. Don’t forget the golden rule of chasing waterfalls by TLC, running away
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Local Criminals Giving Thanks For Free XBox Machine
Rockford, IL – Local criminals have gathered by the dozens throughout the Northern IL state-line. They are giving thanks today to all home-owners, businesses, and pedestrians that have helped them achieve and obtain everything they could’ve ever needed to be
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Where’s Rick? There’s Larry! #3
Rick Nielsen Sighting provided by Lee Bottoms, Rockford, IL: “My boy Gourden and I were so bored on Saturday. We head on up to the Taco Bell on East State Street to use they WiFI every now and then so
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Man Batters Woman
Rockfart , IL – A mentally challenged husband battered his wife less than one hour after RKFDP SWAT (Rockford Dream Police) officers answered an SOS call at their home. Mick Rickles, 56, battered his wife Patsy with a mixture of milk
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Balloon Man Robs Store of Cash and Snickers Bars
Rockford, IL — A man using a balloon filled with an unidentified substance got an undisclosed amount of cash today by robbing the city’s very profitable Half Dollar General Store. The robbery occurred at 4:20 p.m. at 1015 Charles St. A
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