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I’m So Rockford I’ll Believe River Sharks Ate a Family of Six That Fell From a Hot Air Balloon After Being Turned Away To The West Side Of Rockford By East Siders With Machine Guns

I’m So Rockford I’ll Believe River Sharks Ate a Family of Six That Fell From a Hot Air Balloon After Being Turned Away To The West Side Of Rockford By East Siders With Machine Guns
Two of 3 River Sharks feasted on a family of 6 whose hot air balloon popped over the dangerous Rock River in Rockford, IL

Two of 3 River Sharks feasted on a family of 6 whose hot air balloon popped over the dangerous Rock River in Rockford, IL

Rockford, IL –  Many of you are, in fact, so Rockford that there’s nothing we can do to help you break your noose, because you can’t recognize artistic expression when it’s staring right at at ya and mocking you like the cracked mirror reflection we serve the community as.

We love all of you for being so Rockford.  Please don’t stop.  There’s no where else but Hollywood where we could script up the insanity that y’all pull off on a real, original, daily basis.

Hi, Jay!

– Chief Bealeriver sharks



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