Breaking News

I’m So Rockford I’ll Believe River Sharks Ate a Family of Six That Fell From a Hot Air Balloon After Being Turned Away To The West Side Of Rockford By East Siders With Machine Guns

I’m So Rockford I’ll Believe River Sharks Ate a Family of Six That Fell From a Hot Air Balloon After Being Turned Away To The West Side Of Rockford By East Siders With Machine Guns
Two of 3 River Sharks feasted on a family of 6 whose hot air balloon popped over the dangerous Rock River in Rockford, IL

Two of 3 River Sharks feasted on a family of 6 whose hot air balloon popped over the dangerous Rock River in Rockford, IL

Rockford, IL –  Many of you are, in fact, so Rockford that there’s nothing we can do to help you break your noose, because you can’t recognize artistic expression when it’s staring right at at ya and mocking you like the cracked mirror reflection we serve the community as.

We love all of you for being so Rockford.  Please don’t stop.  There’s no where else but Hollywood where we could script up the insanity that y’all pull off on a real, original, daily basis.

Hi, Jay!

– Chief Bealeriver sharks



Related Articles

Rock River Raft Race Under Fire After Dozens of Geese Barred from Entering

Wednesday, June 28th. Feathers have been ruffled. A number geese have gaggled together to issue an official complaint to the

Health & Fashion Solutions For Stopping Rockford Crime Spree

Rockford, IL – The promise of a new year brings great hope for the Rockford community.  Transformation, hotels, sports complexes,

No comments

Write a comment
No Comments Yet! You can be first to comment this post!

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.