Breaking News

I’m So Rockford I’ll Believe River Sharks Ate a Family of Six That Fell From a Hot Air Balloon After Being Turned Away To The West Side Of Rockford By East Siders With Machine Guns

I’m So Rockford I’ll Believe River Sharks Ate a Family of Six That Fell From a Hot Air Balloon After Being Turned Away To The West Side Of Rockford By East Siders With Machine Guns
Two of 3 River Sharks feasted on a family of 6 whose hot air balloon popped over the dangerous Rock River in Rockford, IL

Two of 3 River Sharks feasted on a family of 6 whose hot air balloon popped over the dangerous Rock River in Rockford, IL

Rockford, IL –  Many of you are, in fact, so Rockford that there’s nothing we can do to help you break your noose, because you can’t recognize artistic expression when it’s staring right at at ya and mocking you like the cracked mirror reflection we serve the community as.

We love all of you for being so Rockford.  Please don’t stop.  There’s no where else but Hollywood where we could script up the insanity that y’all pull off on a real, original, daily basis.

Hi, Jay!

– Chief Bealeriver sharks



Related Articles

8 Dead, 15 Injured After Local Musician Discovers New McDonalds Sandwich

“I warned Him. I told him,‘You don’t know how the internet will react if you post that picture. People could

Using a Kitchen Drawer To Organize Rockford Tupperware

Rockford, IL – I’m not sure why I keep my Rockford, IL, manufactured tupperware in the top of the cabinet.

Man saves child from Shark

ROCKFORD—- A Rockford man vacationing in Mexico saved a small child who had wandered into the ocean Saturday morning.More on

No comments

Write a comment
No Comments Yet! You can be first to comment this post!

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.