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Many Locals Report Foul Manure Smell From Downtown Has Permeated Over The Entire City of Rockford

Rockford, IL — Here is an unbelievably true story we read on the internet yesterday that was initiated by one of our favorite local artists. Poop stinks, and oh boy, the smell of poop has permeated throughout Rockford.

We here at RKFDnews have been trying to help the locals for years by advising them to use SOAP.  The problem is people are poor and don’t have decent jobs to pay for soap and warm water.  We have to be the solution.  This is exactly how we can make Rockford great for America on the internet again. Read everyone’s confirmation of the Rockford poop smell below—and take a bath, Rockford. Use soap!

soap

 

 



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