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Mayor Reveals Quickest Route Out of Town To Len Brockner

Mayor Reveals Quickest Route Out of Town To Len Brockner

fries-mcdsRockford, IL – Leonard “Len” Brockner, a 52 year old union painter, stood before our city council and asked a question we’ve all been wondering about, “What’s the quickest route out of Rockford to take if socio-economic conditions take over my mind, body and spirit before the paint fumes do?”

Aldermen looked at each other, laughing, and then to Mayor Barry Morrison for a serious answer:

The wrong answer has always been right there in front of us, sitting on the bike path tucked between the Rock River and route 251 pointing north.  Symbo has instructed us that we go north, though most misunderstand our leader’s directions to head north on 251.  Wrong.  We must not assume Symbo’s directions for exile.  When faced with overwhelming adversary, debts, a less than average quality of life, undocumented unemployment and poverty, one must take to Main Street and head north by foot. Main St. will transform itself into Route 2, don’t worry, keep walking and never look back.  Take Route 2 until you see the McDonalds in South Beloit on Route 2.  Don’t be fooled, for you aren’t out of the evil grasps of Illinois just yet.  Walk another block past the McDonalds into what magically becomes Beloit, Wisconsin.  Wonderful question, Len.  City Council votes to approve the quickest way out of town?”

The vote was unanimous. Len was happy.

Chuck Toncha


Tags assigned to this article:
quickestrockfordroute out of townsouth beloit

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