RKFDnews.com Archive — Real, Original, Excellent Stories For Mediocre People
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Human Traffic Rising
Rockford, IL – RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) got a fancy report from the Bureau Of Free Labor that explained The report told at least three cases of people being trafficked for illegal sense of hope and security donations but they were
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Vicious Chickens Attack Grandmothers
Rockford, IL – Around 7:04 this morning, members of the Booney County Animal Control were called to the 2100 block of Canningham Road for a call about chickens wildly attacking several elderly women. Police and fire were also dispatched to
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Mitt Romney Promises To End Cheetos Epidemic
Rockford, IL – For those who witnessed the second presidential debate last night there were many important topics on their mind. Not only ones that we are dealing with as a nation but also ones that affect us here, in our local community. One such topic is the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Epidemic of 2012.
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Man Jump From Bridge After Being Called a F***ing Idiot
ROCKFORD – River Police and state officials are searching for a person who two witnesses said jumped off the Jefferson Street Bridge on Thursday afternoon. Lt. Jerry Waters of River Police said that at about 6:15 p.m.after dragging the river
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America’s Favorite Band,Train, Cancels Historic Performance At Rockford’s Midway Theatre
Train, the famous rock n’ roll band from San Francisco, had planned to play and record a historic performance at Rockford, IL’s Midway Theater until the band’s management discovered the venue wasn’t up to their normal standards.
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Space Jump Into Rock River A Result Of Bears Bye Week
UPDATE: NASA, the popular American space exploration video game program, contacted us via email to congratulate the local man from Rockford, Sam Burngarner, who jumped from space into our beautiful Rock River during the Chicago Bears’ bye week. Larry
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