RKFDnews.com Archive — Real, Original, Excellent Stories For Mediocre People

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Friday Funday Lunch Discussion: Do Nurses Have God Complexes?

Rockford, IL – Nurses can be beautiful and handsome, but most often their sexiness and charm is overshadowed by the power of our Lord, Jesus Christ and his father, God.  We talked to their friend, Holy Ghost, for the answer

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Career Tips on Becoming A Rockford Area News Reporter, Anchor, Actor, Senator

Rockford, IL – Our unpaid and over-educated staff has put together a list of tips to help fellow journalists transform their careers into something comparable to a Rockford area news personality; which can earn you a quicker ticket out of

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West Side Cat Falls In Love With An East Side Chicken

ROCKFORD, IL – Ohhhh that dirty little cat from Rockford’s far West side of the river fell in love with a chicken from the East side of the river. We here at RKFD News do not condone this kind of

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Rockford on the Upswing: Looking Forward to 2015

Hi, my name is Rockford. I live in Illinois, it’s fun. People pick on me all the time, but I’m on the upswing.  Good things are coming in 2015 and here’s a list of them: 1. Porridge 2. Trains* 3. Grocery

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SPECIAL REPORT: The Hours Before Ricky Was Arrested, He Wrote Us Scripture

RKFDnews.com is the official breaking noose sponsor for the City of Rockford and Rickie. Below are official transcripts and screen shots of EXPLOSIVE messages that Rockford Scanner’s website and Facebook page shared today before its founder was arrested for something.  Imaginary

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SPECIAL REPORT: Where Were You When Rockford Scanner Lost Its Sh*t?

By Andy Whorehall, Guest Contributor I was taking a mid-afternoon shit – patiently taking care of the morning coffee and corn casserole flow from earlier in the day– when a text message came through from a friend alerting me of local

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