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Bangkok Because It’s Funny

Rockford, IL – “Man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok is funny joke, ha ha, you know joke? I tale you”, said Chensworth Johnstonson. We here at RKFD News had nothing better to do on a Tuesday,

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2013 FIRST ROCKFORD BABY – Larson Dontel Svaydohlberg the IIIrd

Rockford, IL –  Larson Dontel Svaydohlberg the IIIrd was the Rockford area’s first born baby at 12:00:08 AM on January 1st, 2013.  The young male boy was born to a single father, Chadwhick Svaydohlberg the IInd. The wandering mother was

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Another Stabbing Occurs While Another Egg Sandwich Is Prepared

ROCKFORD, OF ILLINOIS, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, OF NORTH AMERICA, OF EARTH, OF EVERYTHING ELSE THAT’S LAUGHING AT US – A man has stabbed at least 5 family members but got great deals on stuff and things at

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Old Friends Return Home, Rockford Prepares To Party Again

To Quote Rod Stewart, “Oh no, not again”, it’s New Year’s Eve.

I don’t mind getting together with the family and friends, for a little while. It’s nice to see a select few of the family you don’t run into all that often. I enjoy the home cooked meals, although I don’t go back for thirds. Food Coma? Nah, don’t want to be there any longer than I have to. Watching people sleep while supposedly watching some football is not the sport for me.

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What Happens When the Polar Bear & Donkey Walk Into a Rockford Lonestar To Tear Some Sh*t Up?

Rockford, IL – A polar bear and a donkey walked into a steak bar on the east side of Rockford.  A night of intended pleasure turned into a Rockford massacre at the popular Lonestar Steak Tavern. Witnesses at LoneStar say

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Rascal To Open New Dealership And Repair Center In Rockford, IL

Rockford, IL – Rascal, the industry leader in motorized wheel chairs, has decided to open a sales and repair facility in downtown Rockford. The company is already rolling on plans to get the dealership up and running by spring of

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