Breaking News
Bye bye 2021 happy 2022 rockford smells still New Year: Covid Update
People with COVID-19 have had a wide range of symptoms reported – ranging from mild symptoms
...0I Used To Be A Man, Now I Am A Sea Otter
Rockford, IL – Timothy Krill was his own man for 27 years of his life. A
...0City Leaders Ask For More Free Bedtime Geese Stories
Locals are wondering about the geese and why they’ve chosen to take up residency in our
...0Locals Reminisce of Burnt Building That Has Sat Vacant Since 1978
Downtown Rockford’s poor, old, brick Building (which sat predominantly vacant since 1978) has caused locals to
...0Expired Pasta Sauce Melts Furniture Beams at Downtown’s Huge West Side Ristorante
Provolone Ferne Ristorante Cucina Kök’s west side grand opening has been cancelled due to the horrific
...0Rockford Asks, “Why Don’t We Get a Fancy Pipeline?”
The controversial construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline is a call to action for many environmentally
...0
Breaking Noose
Back to homepage
Mr. Lonnie Torenstein Shares Weekend Plans
Rockford, IL – Lonnie Torenstein, 39 year old Rockford native, wanted to share his weekend plans with our staff and you the readers: “This has been one heck of a tough work week, and I am very much looking forward
Read More
Hungry Burglars Hit Dominos and Subway
Several hungry burglars attacked local businesses just before midnight tonight. Children riding their bikes after curfew on a school night down N. Main St. in Rockford witnessed 2 starving crooks throwing bricks through the window of the Dominos at 2922 N Main St….
Read More
Johnny Emerald the IIIrd Releases Love Songs to Symbol and Rockford
Rockford, IL – Johnny Emerald the IIIrd is a self taught song writer, poet, and musician from Rockford, IL who also happens to live on the streets that he sings about. Emerald the IIIrd is homeless, too. Zach Staas, recording engineer
Read More
Local Celebrity and Founder of Rockford Scanner Releases Personal Website
Rockford, IL – Over 40,000 people in the Rockford area have gravitated towards RockfordScanner.com for misspelled and inaccurate details on the hour. It’s something the Onion came up with years ago but real. Real, original Rockford real. That kind. Founder and
Read More
Oprah Attacks Small Child
“If a tree falls in Rockford and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” is a philosophical thought experiment that raises questions regarding observation and knowledge of reality. If you are reading this and want
Read More