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The Rock River

Kate’s Complaint Corner Letters of honest complaints from an honest Kate. In this week’s column I’m not going to discuss Rock River’s prior wrongdoings. Instead, I intend to focus only on Rock River’s current, craven epigrams. It may help if I

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Chick Filet to Open New Location Downtown

Rockford, IL – “Before we even opened our door, we received such overwhelming support with fans camping out in well below zero temperatures proving people in Rockford can’t get enough fried food. It’s hard to ignore Rockford’s need for chain

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Local Swedish Man Likes Big Butts and He Can Not Lie

Rockford, IL – It took awhile for local native, Gerald Hennsliss, to realize what set him apart from other Swedish men at the Rockford YMCA. “I found myself losing focus in the gym.  Whether I was pumping weights or shooting

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Mr. Lothario Makes Another Pizza For Mr. Strumwell

Rockford, IL – As reported last week, James Lothario took another day off to make a Rockford Pizza according to his neighbor, Joseph Dontel Strumwell.  Strumwell came home again for lunch to find Mr. Lothario in his kitchen–AGAIN–using his family’s wood-brick

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Study Proves That Making Less Money Equals Less Happiness and More Death

Rockford, IL  – The Winnebago Department of Health, Transformation of Emotions and Demographic Awareness released the report to a controversial study today.  The 760 page document was put together by county scientists, physicians and economists who studied the emotional and

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Mr. Lothario Makes a Rockford Pizza For Mr. Strumwell

Rockford, IL – James Lothario took the day off to make a Rockford Pizza according to his neighbor, Joseph Dontel Strumwell.  Strumwell came home for lunch to find Mr. Lothario in his kitchen using his family’s wood-brick oven.  The two

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