Breaking News

Bird Flu Season is upon us.

ROCKFORD, IL – A girl of five is being treated in a Rochellian hospital in the first case of H767334N96453332 “bird flu” reported by Midwest Official Flu & Virus Unit #98. The child, whose parents are poultry traders by day

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Rainbows Are Pretty

ROCKFORD, IL –  What was thought to be a rainbow today was actually a ray of sun shining through the billowing clouds of the Bye-Ron Newclear Power plant. Some of our  loyal readers chimed in: April 1 @ 8:37PM I

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Map of Most Fertile Forest City Crime Region Revealed 0

Rockford, IL – A map revealing the most fertile crime region in the city of Rockford, IL, was released by RKFDP (Rockford Dream Police) earlier today. The areas on the map highlighted in pink show the highest amount of crime. Crime

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RKFD Man Stabs Himself With Empowerment For His 52nd Birthday

Rockford, IL – A man celebrating his 52nd birthday arrived at SwedishAmerican Hospital around 9:30 p.m., Tuesday, with self-inflicted stab wounds to his chest, legs, left arm, cheeks, forehead, left hand, right kneecap,toes, and left buttock. The man told police:

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Lays Looks to Rockford For New Flavors

ROCKFORD, IL – Lays Taytoe Chips recently introduced three new regional chip flavors that are challenging their classic BBQ, Sour Cream & Onion, and Salt & Vinegar varieties for the world’s most delicious ethnic Taytoe Chip. The famous snack company searched

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Lovers Quarrel Inspires Winter Block Party

Rockford, IL – Mindy and Justin Pickleback took their love making to new levels this past weekend.   What started as a yelling match in the kitchen after a few Rolling Rocks ended up in their front yard on a pile

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