Breaking News

President’s Bus Drives Past Rockford to Freeport

President’s Bus Drives Past Rockford to Freeport

The President and his cavalry cruise right past Rockford, IL on their way to beautiful Freeport, IL

Rockford, IL – The President’s cavalry was seen driving past Rockford, IL earlier this month.  The 1.1 million dollar bus, along with a companion bus and a cavlary of vans cruised on I-90, right past Rockford, IL.

“The decision to not stop in Rockford, IL was a tough one.  The President truly loves Magic Waters and Beef-A-Roo but that particular day was a stressful one. We had to get to Freeport, IL,” said a representative for the United States Of America’s President’s bus.

“My great, great, great, great, great Grandfather, Abraham, would have stopped in Rockford, IL.  He lived here on the river for awhile.  Loved the view according to my great, great, great, Uncle Jesse,” said Chad Lincoln, the great, great, great, great, great grandson of Illinois’s first son of America, President Lincoln.

Steve Miller, a representative for Mitt Romney’s bus said, “Talk about a bunch o’ B.O.S..™ (© RKFDNEWS.COM)  Mitt loves Rockford, IL.  We stopped there for breakfast a few months ago and Mr. Romney was coerced into talking to the local caucasians while his eggs got cold.  The eggs at Machine Shed were so good that Mitt praised their warm flavors despite the fact they got cold while speaking to the locals.  Mitt’s bus would have stopped in Rockford, IL to enjoy Magic Waters, rain, snow, sleet or sun.  That’s a fact.  Mitt loves Rockford, IL and would’ve made Rockford a priority over a wasteland like Freeport, IL.  There’s nothing for Mitt in Freeport, IL. Rockford has it all for Mr. Romney.”

President Obama’s bus and cavalry can be seen driving all over America in the next few weeks, but there are no plans to stop in Rockford, IL according to a United States Of America’s representative for the President’s bus.

He shall remain Illinois’ 2nd favorite son.

If anyone sees the President or his opponent’s buses driving across America for freedom, contact us immediately:  [email protected]

Tags assigned to this article:

Related Articles

Pokemon GO Blamed For Rockford’s Webcam Porn Industry Layoffs

[Thank you to Josh M. of Rockford, IL, for emailing us this noose-story.] Rockford, IL — Several of Rockford’s local webcam “porn

Misery Loves Real Original Vison (or) Excellence Never Looked This Good

Rockford, IL – Mayor Barry Morrisson of Rockford, IL, unleashed his 2013 marketing campaign last week to universal applause.  “Vison.

Endangered Alligator Found Napping Near Whitman Street Bridge and Rock River

Rockford, IL –  Lawrence Bottums, 47 and homeless, was taking a nice nap in an abandoned boat near the Whitman


Write a comment
  1. Janet Locker 2 October, 2012, 21:03

    Finally! I can’t believe no one has been talking about this! I saw the bus and tried to get the driver to pull over. I shouted at him that I was NOT the 1% and I even donated $3 to the Obama campaign. I got nothing. Not even a wave. I bet he thought he was going to get some pretzels in Freeport. Fools.

    Reply this comment
    • RKFDNEWS Admin 3 October, 2012, 00:50

      Janet, we are very fortunate to receive the news as it happens because FOX, CNN, WRAX, WYFR and WZOK do NOT, we do– because of people like you!

      We are passing your concerns to the President of The United State’s bus driver and the bus’s representative because you deserved a hand wave for $3.00. We here at RKFD are waiting to here if we get to enjoy dinner with Beyonce, Jaz-Z and President B.O.


      Reply this comment

Write a Comment

Thank you for spending time with us on the internet. Please waste more time and energy by sharing your internet emotions below:

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.